Golf Sucks: Which Is Why Politicians Are Good At It
Sorry for the silent treatment, patriots!
For the last week I have been preparing the following announcement: A Patriot is now the newest resident of Coaldale, Pennsylvania! That’s right, folks, the small town boy goes even smaller in this dramatic move to a town so small that even an amateur golfer could drive a ball from one end of town to the other with a sand wedge.
Now, I have no idea what a sand wedge is, and frankly I don’t care. If that makes me ignorant and apathetic, so be it, but the main point here is golf sucks. I think that that is a point upon which we all agree. Even if you are a pro, and even if you claim to love golf, you know, deep down, that any game developed from shepherds smacking sheep dung into gopher holes has to suck once you get down to brass tacks. It’s ok, guys, you can be straight with me, or at least know that I know about that deep dark place in your heart wherein you know how badly golf sucks.
For the truly educated amongst us, what two points did the above just demonstrate? Come on, there has to be someone out there who gets it. The more you like golf, the less likely you are to have caught either of them. Ok, I could be cruel and wait to see what people think my points were before I spell them out, but even I am not that cruel. So, here is what the above truly pointed out:
1) I pointed out the fundamental flaw behind most politics and political opinions in general. I expressed a strong opinion on a topic, I said that everyone agrees with me, and I said that even those who would disagree with me really agree, but only pretend to disagree. This is the way many people view the world on a wide range of divisive topics.
Are you pro-choice? Well, everyone knows that no matter how die-hard pro-life they pretend to be, they would be first in line at planned parenthood when their fourteen year old daughter pops up pregnant by their thirteen year old son. Are you pro-choice? Well, everyone knows that abortion is legal murder and even those poor, hapless girls who get abortions are victims of societal pressures and they would never be driven to those ends if only we could get that immoral law off the books.
The truth is that, no matter where you stand on any given issue, you are absolutely right. For you. It is important that we hold to our beliefs and not let knee-jerk opinions and societal pressures guide us away from our core values. If it is right to you or if it is wrong to you, fight for it, believe it and make your stand. Hold your beliefs with pride. However, always evaluate your beliefs and reaffirm or change your beliefs whenever life shows you the truth or fallacy of them. It doesn’t matter if today you fight to defend a thing and tomorrow fight to denounce that self-same thing. What matters is that on each of those days you truly believe in that which you are expressing. Apologize to no one and continue on your path.
2) I pointed out that I have the ability to take the most trivial and nonsensical remark, expound upon it and create a deeper meaning where one may or may not have existed. I am somewhat gifted in the use of words, but one need not be gifted to cause the same effect. You must be ever vigilant for tactics such as the one I have employed here. While I used it to prove a valid point, others use such tactics to spin a web of lies and burry inconvenient truths in favor of the lies that make them look good.
That’s all I have the strength for today, patriots. Thank you for your time. I am still getting settled here and my posts may be irregular for awhile. I appreciate your comments, keep them coming. I could go on a five day rant with minimal stimulus, but I’d much rather be reacting to comments and questions from all of you!
Have a great day, folks, we’ll chat again later.
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